Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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