Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
