...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
