YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
