What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
this will be a night to untag.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
