I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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