he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
