I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
