This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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