He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
