The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
