Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
