she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
