Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
