you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
