The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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