I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
