New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
