i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
