he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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