so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
They took my balls.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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