so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
