You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
