she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
home. puking in laundry basket.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
