My friends, they love my intelligence
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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