I think I won the penis lottery.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
foreskin is a definite game changer
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
what the fuck happened to the tacos
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
