I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
