he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
