VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
