you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Dignity is for republicans.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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