Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
