Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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