then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
