So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
