OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
