RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
