I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
