I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
