nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize