sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
