Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
