I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize