How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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