Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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