Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
