I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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