I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
