my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize