Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
