But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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