I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
