my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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