A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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