Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
