I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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