HIV tests are more positive than that guy
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
