I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
