After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
