Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
