I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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