the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
how drunk are you?
Several
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
